4 October 2010

The End of my Start

I remember walking into that interview room, the veluxe window flung open trying to mask the stale smell emanating from the two male interviewers. I remember stepping through the back door on my first day, my excitement was high in being able to get a job in retail. It seems a very long time ago but perhaps working there just helped to slow down time.


Every week my hours would increase and as I kept up with my biking and other outdoor exploits it began to take a toll on my health. My boss noticing this, had to tell me to cut down. I felt low, how could someone tell me how to live, how could work control how I lived? It was a concept I struggled with for a long while and I contemplated this at work. It lead me to resent working, resent the very customers paying my wages. Even though work fueled the things I wanted to do most, it was a vicious cycle which, in the end ultimately lead to the loss of my job, the job I had craved for many months.

The job that had opened a lot of opportunity was suddenly closing without warning, like automatic doors. What gave them the right to take my opportunity away from me? It's also left me questioning why the outdoor world is so dominated by males. Now all staff at my last place of work, bar one lovely lady, are male. I had a male replacement who's probably no more adequate for the job than I was.

Maybe I'm just being bitter. Maybe this happened to open up other opportunities, which have not yet presented themselves. In situations like this you've got to question where a lady's place in the outdoors is. I'd like to think it's firmly established but obviously the end of my start is clear. A lady's place in the outdoors will always be more of a struggle.

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