My beach, my place (part 1)

It’s a resort, yet it’s deserted, the winter months meaning that people are staying away. All that remain are the locals and the golfers, taking advantage of this sunny day in November. The first sunny day, for what seems an age. There’s a silence that’s intimidating, I expected there to be more noise, more commotion. More people. But, it’s calm here, the odd character wondering on the rocks. I have no effect on them. The wind doesn’t howl, nor is the rain pattering on my coat. The firth is flat, like the light. Undisturbed. Bird song fills in. They rise and fall in the calm thermals, diving at one another, protecting their territory or young. A gull slows and lands awkwardly. It’s spotted something it likes the look of.



Cirrus clouds high in the sky dictate that it’s cold today whilst across the Solway Cumulonimbus form over the fells of Cumbria, restless. It’s probably snowing. The light is of a weird quality today, it’s hazy, cushioning the emotions running through my mind. Making them a lot more logical, than had it been bright and stark. Dark rocks are silhouetted against the bright estuary backdrop, whilst run off from the dunes behind form mini rivers with banks which will soon be destroyed by the rising tide. Then the cycle will start all over again. It’s refreshing.



This is the first time I’ve experienced proper sunlight in a month, Although it’s only about 2 degrees Celsius, I’m basking in it’s warmth, feeling the weight slowly evaporate away. I’m happy, the drive was worth it, here, I haven’t much a care for anything or anyone. It’s just me and nature in this space for now. No one could change that. No one knows me here. It’s almost as if I don’t exist. You can see the curvature of the earth. I haven’t seen such a non interrupted piece of landscape for a long time. There’s something about it which just allows for a clearer view point on life. It’s simple and doesn’t distract you. All that moves is the tide, slowly rippling away. I’m drifting away with it. The sun highlights and twinkles off my eye lashes, my hair feels warm to the touch. If only I could sit here for longer. My return looms closer. It’s almost as if the landscape is changing with my thought. Growing dark, damp. I want to hold this image in my head for longer. Smell the air and taste the salt on my lips.



I decide to head back, I know there must be better places. I notice things here which just aren’t right, despite the immediate landscape being absolutely stunning. I notice the amount of waste, scattered amongst the rock pools, traffic cones, oil drums, gloves, tubs, plastic bottles, fence poles. It’s amazing and sickening at what the human race can cause by one careless thought or placement. Tree branches bleached by the salt mark the high tide point. A seemingly beautiful and natural place transformed to a dirty, impure site of destruction. Made by us. These rocks were here first, it’s unfair that now human products mingle with it, disrupting the natural balance.

I’m almost back to my car, back to the resort. The path is almost as bad as the beach. Cans, packets, glass bottles exposed by the dying bushes. I don’t understand how people can come here, leave their trash scattered everywhere then just leave. They come here for the beauty, to relax. So why can’t they keep it that way? It’s un-comprehendible.

I miss him still